Neighbourly love crosses boundaries of age and language

31-year-old Mrs Sonia James has been a caregiver for an aged Samsui Woman for six years, someone whom she now calls ‘mom’.

Caption: Despite her age, the 86 year old Mdm Ng is a feisty and independent woman. (PHOTO: Jiamin)

Six years ago, Mrs Sonia James stood at the threshold of Mdm Ng Moey Chye’s one-room rental flat. Her next-door neighbour was lying on her bed, motionless.

Mdm Ng, 86, an aged Samsui Woman, lived in squalor. Her flat was crowded, with cockroaches scuttering across the floor. She lived in darkness, having been unaware of how to turn the lights back on after a circuit broker broke.

To make things worse, Mdm Ng had an infection and was suffering from a high fever. Mrs James took immediate action, and the 31-year-old homemaker called an ambulance and went with Mdm Ng to the hospital.

This fortunate meeting began a friendship that blossomed into something resembling a

mother-daughter relationship.

Brightening Up Her World

After leaving the hospital with Mdm Ng, Mrs James set to work improving some of Mdm Ng’s living conditions.

She began with clearing objects that were blocking the entrance of Mdm Ng’s flat and investigated the cause behind why Mdm Ng’s lights were not working.

Mrs James said: “I was also unsure of why her lights were not working. I checked with the electric company and it turns out the electric bill was not paid.”

Mdm Ng told us in Cantonese: “I didn’t want to pay the bill because I wanted to save money.”

Mdm Ng’s drive to save money at the cost of her own health stemmed from the fact that money was tight. She continues to work as a cardboard collector to make ends meet.

As a cardboard collector, she searches her Redhill neighbourhood for discarded cardboard to collect and sell. Despite the laborious nature of her work, she only earns up to $2 per session.

This covers lunch at the nearby coffee shop but is a measly amount in the face of her $40 rental fees she has to pay everyone. This is in addition to her medical fees.

Source: Singapore Management University/Tata Consultancy Services: Technologies for Ageing-in-Place: The Singapore Context, March 2016 (SMU-TCS iCityLab)

Mdm Ng is among an increasing number of seniors living alone, according to the Department of Statistics, which estimated that 83,000 elderly persons will be living alone by 2030 as compared to the 47,000 seniors aged 65 and above in 2016.

After the hospital visit, Mrs James continued to spend time with Mdm Ng, despite having two kids and two elderly uncles to care for.

They settled into a daily routine where Mrs James would accompany the Samsui woman on walks around their neighbourhood, joining her for meals. She would also accompany her on doctor appointments, offering to pay for some of the check-ups.

Doing so gradually became a struggle, as Mrs James’ financial situation was not great and Mdm Ng has debt for her stay in the hospital. To continue helping Mdm Ng, she looked for charities to support the Samsui woman and found it in Thye Hua Kuan Moral Charities, who helped pay for the medical debt.

In addition, Mdm Ng is also a beneficiary of Apex Redhill Weekly Food Distribution.

Every Saturday, Mdm Ng will to the void deck of her block to collect the food rations which will help her save money on food. Mrs James will also come down to help her push the trolley of food rations and cardboards up to her house.

Caption: Mdm Ng Moey Chye collecting cardboard at a weekly food distribution event where she’s a beneficiary so that she can sell them to support herself. (PHOTO: Jiamin)

In addition, Mrs James also makes meals for Mdm Ng, which consists mostly of soup foods.

Familial Love

Mdm Ng has been covered by several media outlets throughout the years as she was one of the Samsui Women who helped build Singapore.

Despite the fame, her living situation remained the same. She continued to live alone, without a family until Mrs James moved in.

When we asked why Mdm Ng continued to live alone, she said: “I didn’t get married because I saw my friends getting in arguments with their husbands. I didn’t want that.”

While Mdm Ng continues to be independent, Mrs James continues to insist on taking care of her.

Mrs James described Mdm Ng as a playful woman. She said: “She’s very kind but a bit naughty. She jokes about how many ‘Mercedes’, or trolleys she has at home, but still take mine anyway.’

Mdm Ng said, “I am very happy to know Mrs James because she keeps me company and sometimes takes care of me.”

She noted: “The last time a group of volunteers came to my house, they threw away my Samsui Woman uniform without asking me for my permission.”

Before meeting Mdm Ng, Mrs James only spoke English and Tamil. To communicate with Mdm Ng better, she also self-learned some simple Chinese along the way.

Doing so allowed them to find common ground. Mrs James told us that she called Mdm Ng “mama,” mother in English.

Unfortunately, unknown to Mdm Ng, the James family will be moving out soon early next year. Mrs James expressed concern that there would be no one to look after Mdm Ng in their absence.