As society progresses, more women are looking to pursue a career as an embalmer in the male-dominated death care industry.
By: Sarah Emiliana and Sharyl Chin
Young and Proud: Despite the restrictions that their job poses to their young social lives, such as being on call 24/7, Ms Chong and Ms Lim are proud of what they do as embalmers. (PHOTO: SHARYL CHIN)
When they are off duty, one might assume that 24-year-old Lim Yi Huey and 26-year-old Nicole Chong have conventional office jobs, but many would be mistaken.
Under the guidance of Ms Sarah Ang, 35, one of the first certified local embalmers in Singapore, Ms Chong and Ms Lim are one of Singapore’s youngest female embalmers and embalmers in general. Besides that, they are also funeral directors at Serenity Casket and Funerals, a family-run, independent funeral home.
The start of it all
Both women became interested in the embalming profession through their mutual love for human anatomy and initial dreams of becoming a doctor.
Ms Chong was only 19-years-old when she got introduced to the funeral industry with Serenity Casket and Funerals, a family run business that was founded by her brother, Elson Chong, in 2009.
Before embarking on her journey to become an embalmer, she first began assisting her brother with the ground operations of funeral services.
Through this, it gave her a first-hand understanding of all the physical and emotional work that goes into every part of the funeral process.
Her interest in the embalming profession grew tenfold after she saw her sister-in-law, Ms Ang, obtain a certificate from the New Zealand Embalming Association.
After graduating from Kaplan University in 2012 with a diploma in General Studies, she was faced with the dilemma of either having a normal desk job or diving into the funeral industry with her brother. The then 19-year-old took a leap of faith and chose to be a part of the funeral industry.
“For me, I like to do things differently from others,” said Ms Chong. “I’m very curious about human anatomy but cannot be a doctor, so doctor in a bit of a twisted way.”
On the other hand, Ms Lim acted on her interests and fascination for human anatomy after graduating from Republic Polytechnic in 2017 with a diploma in Pharmaceutical Science. After graduating, she realised that it took years of studying to become either a doctor, pathologist and other jobs which were centred around human anatomy.
As someone who was not keen on having a mundane desk job, she wanted a career that would allow her to work with people and eventually chanced upon the embalming occupation whilst browsing some articles.
“I took a fascination towards embalming as I felt it was pretty amazing that one was able to help another person to look their best, even in death,” shared Ms Lim.
This led her to start working in the funeral industry after completing her studies.
Fast forward a few years and now, Ms Chong has embalmed 2500 bodies, while Ms Lim has assisted in embalming about 300 bodies as of November 2020.
Under the guidance of Ms Ang who has embalmed over 3000 bodies as of November 2020, both ladies acquired the essential skills and experience about embalming.
Ms Ang was around 20-years-old when she was introduced to the funeral industry through her late father, Mr Ang Yew Seng, who ran his own funeral home named Ang Yew Seng Funeral Parlour.
“I was very much inspired by his selflessness and dedication to serving others without expecting anything in return,” she shared.
Eventually, embalming transformed into a concrete interest for her when she joined the industry as a funeral director, carrying the belief that more could be done to restore dignity to the deceased.
Besides learning the ins and outs of embalming, Ms Lim and Ms Chong were also given the freedom to embalm comfortably by utilising their strengths and improving on their weaknesses. Ms Ang also taught them the importance of work-life balance as well as to not compare themselves to others, which both ladies found to be really valuable life lessons.
“This helped me to understand embalming, the human body, even people skills and how to explain this process to clients for their peace of mind,” said Ms Lim.
Misconceptions about embalming
The truth behind the mistruth: Many people believe that there are many invasive procedures involved during embalming. However, embalmers have to ensure that bodies are properly embalmed before the dressing up and makeup stages. (PHOTO: SARAH EMILIANA)
As the death care industry is still viewed as a taboo topic in our cultural context, it is no surprise that many Singaporeans still have a misinterpretation of what embalming truly entails. In simple terms, embalming is the process of slowing down the decomposition of a deceased body for a funeral service.
Mr Lim shared: “We will think of how we must do our best for this body, cause we try to do as much as we can, to make them look like how they used to look like.”
Besides doing makeup for the deceased, embalmers also have a wide range of responsibilities to fulfil.
“What outsiders feel is that embalming is just makeup, so they won’t have to see the organs and all, which is not true,” said Ms Chong. “It's not just being comfortable with seeing a dead body, you have to know that there’s a person’s whole life right in front of you and their families are waiting outside.”
Never the same: No two bodies are the same and each body requires different levels of care and treatments, with embalmers having a range of tools to help them through the process. (PHOTO: SHARYL CHIN)
Some of the lesser-known responsibilities of an embalmer would be injecting chemicals into the deceased’s artery to preserve the body for as long as needed and performing post-mortems in the case of unnatural death.
The usual steps for embalming can be cut down into 3 stages. The first stage would be to sanitise and clean the body before embalming. The second stage would be to embalm the body according to its specific conditions. Afterwards, the embalmer will clean the body once more before moving on to the final stage, which is to doll up the deceased through clothes and makeup.
Despite these standardised procedures, the local funeral industry still faces prejudice from the public, with recent high-profile incidents not painting them in a good light and bringing more scrutiny onto them.
In Dec 2019, an incident about a body being wrongfully cremated due to a mix up at one funeral parlour caused negative attention to be placed onto the industry. Also, the National Environment Agency (NEA), which also regulates local funeral parlours, has received feedback on four cases related to embalming over the past three years.
This pushed NEA to swiftly release a new set of guidelines for all local funeral parlours earlier this year, specifically focused on embalmers.
These guidelines were created in consultation with the Association of Funeral Directors Singapore (AFD) and included - embalmers must attend the basic infection control course conducted by the National Centre for Infectious Diseases, embalmers who work solo must perform embalming procedures on at least 25 deceased bodies locally under the supervision of a registered embalmer, and more.
According to the AFD, there are currently 36 funeral parlours in Singapore. According to NEA, there are 22 licensed funeral parlours with embalming facilities and 39 licensed embalmers.
The struggles of a female embalmer
Safety First: Both Nicole and Yi Huey donned their personal protection equipment which consists of coveralls, gloves, masks and more to ensure that no contamination occurs during the embalming process. (PHOTO: SHARYL CHIN)
As both Ms Chong and Ms Lim are mothers, they face a struggle that is unique to female embalmers like them, which is the issue of balancing their time between spending time with their family and their work.
While their fiery passion spurs them on to continue with this career, there have been times where their beloved job has gotten in the way of their personal lives.
An example would be how Ms Chong was unable to fulfil her promise to her mother to have dinner with her on her mother’s birthday due to her job. A sudden call came in just as she was about to head home to meet her mother which caused her to work till the late hours of the night.
Luckily, Ms Chong and her colleague were able to obtain a slice of cake from a shop and rushed home to her mother who was waiting for her.
She said: “When I got back home, my mum looked me in the eye and said, “finally, you’re back home”, I broke down instantly.”
“I felt so guilty for not being there for her, but at the same time I had to work on the body that came in,” Ms Chong added.
Likewise, Ms Lim also faces such disruptions in her personal life, specifically with her friendships.
Ms Lim has been asked by her social circle on what she does for a living. Many of them were surprised to find out that she is an embalmer despite her petite frame. They would question if she had the strength to do her job.
There have also been occurrences where she would be on the way to meet her friends and a sudden call signaling her to get back to work would come in.
“It’s very hard to make plans with friends to catch up because of my unpredictable schedule, even when I’m on standby I can get a call to come in,” Ms Lim shared.
For many millennials, embalming may not be an ideal job due to its unpredictable schedule as they would still want to have their personal lives. However, both of them agree that they love their job a lot enough to be able to leave their families and head back to work.
Gone from sight but not from the heart
Knowing their craft: Under the watchful eyes of Ms Sarah Ang, both Ms Chong and Ms Lim had to undergo rigorous training before being allowed to handle bodies on their own. (PHOTO: SARAH EMILIANA)
The job of an embalmer may be difficult to envision for some, but it's even worse when it concerns someone you know.
Ms Chong recounted the time she had to embalm her hearse driver, Lim Swee Huat, who was 62 at the time and died of a heart attack back in 2015.
The incident happened when Ms Chong was in her first year of embalming with Ms Ang. Mr Huat had taken her out to have lunch at McDonald’s in the afternoon and sadly passed away on the same evening.
“My hearse driver was like a second father to me. He passed on a burial ground while he was working with us,” said Ms Chong.
Initially, Ms Chong refused to embalm her close colleague as she was still in shock from what had happened. However, after talking with Ms Ang, she decided to perform the embalming procedure on her deceased colleague.
“Throughout the embalming procedure, I held back my tears but after everything was finished, I cried so much,” she added.
Going through this painful experience, Ms Chong’s resolve was strengthened as she was reminded of how she does not let her emotions affect her when she embalms, only focusing on doing the best for the deceased and their family members.
She said: “The whole experience taught me to live with a clear conscience and to do good whenever I can because you never know when your time is up.”
As for Ms Lim, she believes that she can help make a good final memory for the family and friends of their loved ones laying in the casket. When she performs the embalming procedure, she strives to do her best to make the deceased look as lively as they were once before.
The future is female
Setting it in stone: With the new guidelines and Ms Ang’s rigorous training, Serenity Casket is setting a new standard when it comes to funeral services, allowing everyone to have a peaceful and respectful send-off. (PHOTO: SHARYL CHIN)
When Ms Ang first started out working in the funeral industry, she was met with much hostility. The people she worked with, mainly men, would slap her hand her away from the casket and make unsettling remarks. For example, they would call her ‘dirty’ or a ‘bad luck charm.’
In present-day Singapore, despite the challenges, more women are slowly joining the industry. The funeral industry has become a much warmer and friendlier place due to its gradual acceptance of women joining.
More families are also beginning to specifically request for female embalmers to take care of their deceased loved ones, with many citing their meticulousness as the main reason why.
“Females tend to be more observant. Even a single strand of nose hair, they can spot it. They notice the small details whereas guys don't really bother,” said Ms Lim.
With more women venturing into careers that are considered taboo, both Ms Chong and Ms Lim feel that if the mainstream media talks more about embalming as a viable profession, more people will be open to it.
“If doctors and nurses can get headlines in the papers, why can’t the people who take care of the dead get the same treatment,” says Ms Chong.
Ms Ang adds, “I just hope that the funeral industry will no longer be seen as an unpromising place to work in. That we’re not ‘pantang’, but instead just enjoy supporting the deceased and bereaved, to make sure that they have a peaceful send-off. Everyone deserves to have that.”
However, they also believe that it is important for aspiring embalmers to also know about the physical, mental and emotional strength that is needed.
It is common to see people shy away from the job after trying it out. Despite feeling prepared, many of them still felt scared deep down.
It takes great patience, focus and dedication to pursue embalming and it’s not just an action that one can carry out carelessly.
“I can always encourage others to become an embalmer but when it comes to being hands-on, it's a different matter, ” said Ms Chong.
Ms Lim adds that the public’s perception of the job matters too, especially with Singapore still being generally conservative towards the funeral industry.
“Even if the government backs us up, if the public still stays away from us, then there is no point in encouraging others to join,” she says.
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