By: Insyirah and Mardhiah
When Siti Nurhajah enrolled as a nursing student in ITE, the last thing she expected to do was to drop out 6 months later. Only 18 at the time, Siti had to make the tough decision of dropping out of school to support her father who was ill as well as provide for her family financially. 8 years later, Siti’s hard work and patience paid off, graduating as a Valedictorian and is now a full-time nurse in KK Women's and Children's Hospital.
How it all started
Being the oldest sibling in her family, 26-year-old Siti did not have it easy growing up. From such a young age, Siti was already pushed into life challenging situations and at 14 years old, Siti found out she had a bilateral ovarian cyst.
Ovarian cysts are fluid-filled sacs that develop within or on top of one (or both) of the ovaries. They are usually painless but might cause pain in the abdomen or pelvis. An ovarian cyst affects about 7% of women at some point in their lives and most of the time, ovarian cysts resolve on their own without treatment.
Siti said: “I was supposed to go to my student leader camp but I couldn’t because I was having this pain, cramps and all. My mom brought me to a polyclinic and they initially thought it was appendicitis, so they sent me to Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH).”
She recollected how at that point in time, TTSH could not accept minors so she was referred to KK Hospital where they did tests and found the cyst in both of her ovaries. She recalled the fear she felt when she was first informed about it.
“I was super scared because I never thought that this would actually happen to me,” said the 26-year-old, “When the surgeon talked to me and said that they might have to remove my ovaries, my hopes were crushed.”
Initially, Siti was hellbent that she would not agree to the operation as she had always “dreamed of being a mother”. The doctor had even listed the complications of not having the surgery, pressing that her condition would get much worst without the operation.
She said: “Even after my dad comforted me to go, I said I don’t want means I don’t want. That’s when my cousin, who was a nurse, stepped in and talked to me about it.”
Fortunately, she gave in after listening to her cousin and the operation went smoothly for her. At this point in time, she was inspired by the nurses who took care of her as well as her cousins who were all studying to be nurses. Her experience along with the care of the nurses was what made her realise she wanted to be a nurse.
It was good while it lasted
With a dream and a goal set ever since her operation, Siti was determined to get into her dream course. She worked hard for her N Levels and did everything she could to get into Nursing. After all that hard work, she managed to land a spot in Nursing at the Institute of Technical Education (East) back in 2012.
“Getting into Nursing in ITE is not easy. Because there’ll be a lot of applicants and then they will have to interview you and see whether you’re up for it. So when I got in, I felt really blessed and I just couldn’t believe that I got a chance to be a nurse at the time,” says Siti as she thinks about the first time she succeeded in getting into the course of her dreams.
Just when she thought her dreams were in her reach, Siti found herself stuck with a tough decision to make.
Six months into her first year, Siti’s father became unfit to work, suffering from diabetes and hepatitis C. “So I decided… I mean I took the hasty decision to stop schooling without even talking to my parents about it,” says Siti.
Family values – something that most youths have been prioritising for the last decade as explained in the National Youth Council Survey 2021 , which is a trait that Siti perfectly portrays.
“I had no choice. Like my sisters were young at that point of time, what can they do?” Just like how an article on Bustle, explains that first-borns can be nurturing and tend to others when they need them, Siti exhibits one of the most typical first-born traits – her sense of duty and responsibility for her family.
But just like any parent, Siti’s parents were hesitant to allow Siti to go through with her plans. Since she hadn’t discussed it with her parents beforehand, it came to them as a shock, especially to her mother who knew about her decision upon coming to ITE College East to sign her withdrawal forms.
“My mom was like, why? You should be schooling and you shouldn’t be worrying about this thing,” says Siti as she recalls the moment her mother found out about her decision.
“She was very very disappointed. I could see the look in her eyes,” says Siti. Though she strongly disagreed with Siti’s decision, Siti convinced her mother by saying, “I promised her that this doesn’t mean that I won’t go back to school in the future. So she understand, she signed the form and we went home la.”
But that was not the end of the train of scolding for Siti because she still had to tell her father, who had no knowledge of her decision until they came back from school. The moment her father found out, she got an earful from her father, but she ignored it.
In order to convince her father this time, she said: “I said no point, no matter what opinions or advice that you’re gonna give me, it’s not gonna work on me. Why make me go through things when I’m not focused and then at the end of the day I can’t achieve the results that I want.”
And that’s when she put a pause on this chapter of her life, waiting for the right time to revisit it. As she waited for the right moment, Siti juggled her time to support her family whilst taking care of her father by working full time in the Food and Beverage industry. With the long hours and physical demands of F&B jobs in general, it was surely tough for Siti.
“It was exhausting. There were times where I really wanted to give up. But I did it for my family, for my mom, for my dad, for my sisters. I had to persevere,” says Siti.
Don’t quit on your dreams
Just like any other student, Siti had hoped to continue her studies as she watched her ex-classmates graduate before her. The constant thought of “being weak” for simply quitting just like that and asking herself why she could not have “pulled through in the beginning” burdened her mind.
“It took me a while to get over these thoughts and pull through. That’s when I decided I shall go back to school and pursue my dreams [as] I don’t quit on on my dreams,” said Siti.
As soon as her sister graduated in February 2017, Siti decided to re-enrol at school at the age of 22 since her father’s health was gradually getting better and had to restart most of her school life from scratch. She shared that her family, cousins and friends were her pillars of strength during these tough times when she faced situations where others would judge her for enrolling late.
She said: “When they started judging me, [I was] like why do you have to judge me? Like, it’s not as if I’m doing something wrong, it’s not that I’m doing something that will destroy my future.”
Siti recounted the numerous times her friends and cousins would advise her that “it was her life at the end of the day” and that her life was hers to make so she focused on doing things for her own good.
As being a nurse is a demanding job, Siti shared that “it wasn’t really an issue” as she was already working part-time before school. As school started, she maintained her part-time job while also participating in school camps although she was worried that she couldn’t cope with her studies.
“I was just afraid that I couldn't cope because you know, you’ve been working for so long and then suddenly you’re going back to school. Will you still have your game on? Will you be able to cope with everything, the notes and all?” says Siti.
Despite her doubts, Siti was determined to focus solely on her studies without “letting anything come and disrupt her”. Though her father was still in recovery, she had her second sister to help take care of him while she continues to pursue her dreams of being a nurse.
Despite all the struggles she’s faced, Siti was able to maintain a 4.0 GPA, on top of her active participation in her CCA, Bridge Leaders, where she was the President, and the volunteering services she did during her time in school. All of this led her to become a valedictorian, where she also received numerous awards as part of her accomplishments.
Learning and growing
Siti’s challenging journey of being a nurse did not only come from her never give up attitude but also from the love and support of her family, friends and teachers. These challenges in life had taught her to be more resilient and to never give up on her dreams.
She recalled a time one of her teachers told her that “there is a silver lining” behind her challenges and that she wouldn’t be where she is if not for them. Deep down, Siti believes that everything happens for a reason and to always trust whatever it is we are doing.
After all the hurdles she had to face, Siti is now a full-time nurse at KK Womens’ and Childrens’ Hospital (KKH), the place that ignited her dreams of becoming a nurse. All Siti hopes for at the moment is for the pandemic to end as it’s been a long ride, for not just herself but her fellow nurses as well.
“It’s really nice to talk maskless so you can really see the expression of the person that you’re talking to. (Some people) will think that the nurses are not in the mood that kind but actually, we are. It’s just that I know this mask shouldn’t really be a hindrance on how I care for my patients la. It’s just that I just miss seeing people’s expression when you talk to them,” Siti mentions when asked about the troubles she faced in this pandemic.
Just like Siti, many youths of today are facing endless amounts of challenges, especially with the ongoing pandemic that’s creating more uncertainties for the future ahead. According to the National Youth Council Survey, it states that in 2019, young people continue to be most stressed by future uncertainty and hold only modest evaluations about the sufficiency of opportunities in Singapore to achieve their aspirations. Especially with an ongoing pandemic that might not go away anytime soon, it is no wonder that most youths have a strong fear of what lies ahead of them.
As Siti mentioned: “Things get hard along the way, you can feel like you want to give up but before you give up, think why you started it in the first place.”
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