Teenage pregnancy and how we can help them.
By the time she found out that she was pregnant, she was already four to five months into conceiving the baby.
Naturally, as an 18-year-old at the time, Hanis Suraya, who had her whole life ahead of her, was inevitably in denial of the responsibility that was soon to be bestowed upon her.
“I was in denial and I didn’t believe what I saw. I didn’t even go for the KKH (Kandang Kerbau Hospital) check-up. I just kept quiet and throughout that period, I was stressed and had to hide (that I was pregnant) by using big clothes.”, the now 20-year-old administrative staff member recounts.
During the pregnancy, she had to wear loose clothes to hide her baby bump (PHOTO: Hanis Suraya)
Around the 7th month of her pregnancy, her partner’s sister came to know about the pregnancy when they spotted her baby bump. The sister and the family were supportive of the decision to carry the child to term and Hanis' biggest worry was how to break it to her family.
For her, her biggest worry was not breaking it to her mother. Rather, it was to her grandparents that raised her. They were initially shocked and disappointed as they had always presumed that she would not be someone that would get herself into trouble.
Her salvation did come around soon enough though, as her grandparents eventually became supportive of her pregnancy as well as her decision to keep the baby after his birth.
But that did not hinder her from living her life to its fullest. She still went to school, committed to her Malay dance troupe yet still ensured that she guaranteed herself and her soon-to-be son good health.
While things were smooth sailing on her side, she recalled her partner’s parents being the rather difficult party to deal with.
“I had the impression that they did not really like me”, laughing as she recalled her troubling ordeal during her pregnancy. Fast forward a year into the future and they have since been doting grandparents to her child.
Hanis Suraya (right, kneeling) during one of her Malay Dance exhibitions (PHOTO: Hanis Suraya)
However, teen mothers are not as uncommon as we think they are in Singapore.
While the numbers are steadily declining over the years, numbers are still in the range of hundreds. This can be proven in a recent statistic drawn up by the Immigrations and Checkpoints Authority (ICA) this mid-year.
With a population that is still relatively significant as compared to the teenage population in Singapore, has society been of benefit to these young mothers? Or have they been the bane of existence for them, constantly slandering them and beating down on the spirits of these young mothers?
The question also arises if we as a society are supporting teenage moms. One of the biggest support groups in Singapore is Babes Pregnancy Support Group.
For people like Hanis, who have had the utmost support from their family, they would be considered amongst the lucky ones in the teenage mother community in Singapore.
“My family and partner were very supportive of me.”, said Hanis, crediting her family to be amongst the reasons why she was able to cope with the stress and anxiety that comes along with being a teenage mother.
She was also fortunate enough to have her family by her side during her 18-hour labour, where it eventually resulted in a Caesarean section operation. She described it as being the most physically painful thing in her life, although she was happy when the baby was finally delivered.
Even after the baby was delivered, she had her share of troubles. When leaving the hospital, she was not allowed to leave with her baby for two to three days due to the baby having jaundice.
Hanis with her son (PHOTO: Hanis Suraya)
Very frequently, stories like Hanis’ do not occur, at least in a conservative Asian society like Singapore. Rather, we would always hear stories about teenage mothers being ostracized, treated differently and abused.
That was what 21-year-old Khairianti Putri went through when she broke the news to the family at the tender age of 19.
“I was hit and beaten up by my sister and my mom.”, she recalled during an interview with Babes, a teenage pregnancy support organisation based in Singapore.
Khairianti Putri was two months pregnant when she broke the news to her family regarding her pregnancy (PHOTO: Babes Pregnancy Crisis Support Ltd/FACEBOOK)
Even though she was able to find her salvation in a teenage pregnancy support, the stigma that surrounds teenage mothers is still quite concerning, given the reaction that her sister and mother gave her when they first heard the news.
This is also especially concerning as the teenage births rate in Singapore still hovers in the hundreds. Although a declining population overall, they are still sizable.
ICA report on teenage births in the last decade
According to the ICA, teenage births to mothers aged 19 and below amounted to 280 in 2019. This was a 3.1% decrease as compared to 2018, where the numbers tallied to 289. While this may not be considered as a significant drop in teenage pregnancy numbers, the teenage pregnancy rate can be acknowledged to have significantly decreased from the beginning of the decade.
2010 reported the highest number of pregnancies in the decade at a whopping 641, a 56.3% increase as compared to the 280 cases that were reported in 2019. And it is even scarier thinking that even though the numbers are dwindling, the possible abuse that the few hundred teenage mothers may face is beyond scary.
Supporting teenage moms
A study in 2004 by PromiseWorks about teenage pregnancies in Singapore came to a conclusion that there were two main things to address regarding teenage pregnancies and teen moms in Singapore.
The first issue was a lack of awareness and information in the general populace about where and whom these moms can approach for assistance. The following issue in regards to these teenage mothers was the lack of Volunteer Welfare Organisations in addressing the situations.
This is where Babes Pregnancy Crisis Support (Babes) steps in. They are a non-profit organisation that supports soon-to-be teenage mothers aged 21 and below and are the biggest source of help for these young mothers in Singapore.
Babes started back in 2005 as a part of Beyond Social Services and was created to help address both issues brought up by the PromiseWorks study.
They were positioned as a service to teenage moms and established a 24-hour SMS helpline and later separated from Beyond Social services in 2013 in order to provide more focus towards helping teenage pregnancy and motherhood in Singapore.
Babes helps with providing awareness through their events targeted at youths by their Youth & Awareness outreach team. The goals of these events and the team are to create an awareness of how to help them or someone they know in the event of an unplanned pregnancy and for the youths of today to take ownership of the issue of teen pregnancy.
One of these events is the Annual Open Mic Night which in 2019, was done in conjunction with the International Women’s Day celebrations on the 10th of March. Held at George’s Beach Club, East Coast Park, the event was a huge success and had close to 100 people coming down to show their support for the young female talents.
Another way that Babes reaches out to youths is through social media. Their main social media outlet is Facebook and they use the Facebook page to promote events, featuring volunteers and sharing the stories of their service-users.
In 2019, their approach to sharing stories was shifted from profiles of closed cases to ones of storytelling. This helps highlight real situations and struggles that teenage moms which Babes assists have to handle.
To Conclude
Teenage moms are an underlooked part of society, one that is shunned and ridiculed for. While some get lucky and are bestowed with supportive families, some are slapped, shunned and shamed by the ones they thought they could count on.
They are people and they should be treated better and accepted by a more open and kinder society and thus the need for awareness through non-profit organisations like Babes is important.
Instead of stigmatising them and looking down on them for their fumble in life, look at it in the perspective of which they have decided to take on such a huge responsibility at a young age. Sure they could have taken the easy way out and opt for an abortion, but they were instead firm in their decision in giving an opportunity for another life to live.
They are the unsung heroes of whom may be key figures of the next generation.
Working towards a more inclusive Singapore makes our world a better place.
For Teenagers facing a pregnancy crisis you can contact Babes and other organisations via this hotline:
Babes 24-hour call/SMS helpline - 8111 3535
Pertapis Centre for Women and Girls - 6284 4707
Pregnancy Crisis Service - 6339 9770
Brahm’s Centre AssistLine - 6655 0000 or 8823 0000 for during and after office hours
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