By Nur Fanisyah and Tiffany Thong
Experiences and challenges faced by some individuals in the LGBTQ+ community.
“This world would be a whole lot better if we just make an effort to be less horrible to one another.” These were the words said by Canadian transgendered actor, Ellen Page. Have you ever wondered how it feels to be treated unfairly just because you may be different in others’ eyes?
Finding own identity
21-year-old Muhammad Noor Izwan Bin Zaharuddin discovered that he was part of the LGBTQ+ community in August last year and identified as a bisexual. Going by he/him pronouns, Izwan certainly was not prepared to come out.
FINDING ME: Despite it being difficult to come out of the closet, 21-year-old Muhammad Noor Izwan never let the challenges bring him down and stop him from being who he is. Photo: Muhammad Noor Izwan
“To be frank, it was like overcoming a mountain because the fear and anxiety that rest in the heart is no joke.”
Izwan met his current partner back in January this year and have managed to be by each other’s side for seven months now. However, things are all rainbows and sunshine for the 21-year-old.
Grass is always greener on the other side
THE ONES WHO BRING JOY: Izwan’s friends were the ones who supported him when his family was not very supportive and it was them who would bring smiles to his face. The photo was taken after attending a friend’s birthday party. Photo: Muhammad Noor Izwan
Eventually, his family found out about his sexuality in April this year. His family was not very supportive and accepting of his choices.
“My family was much more traditional so it was not accepted. I was even advised to seek assistance to go back on the “right” path.”
He then explains that he feels “outcasted and downright not belonging there”. He says that it was rather hurtful to think about, especially when they spend almost every day in the same household. Apart from that, Izwan is also spending more time alone outside as “ever since he was out to his family, it was suffocating to be in the house.”
His friends, on the other hand, were very supportive and accepting. He explains: “Well personally, it was way easier coming out to my friends and they are much more accepting. They support me so much that I was feeling extremely grateful and happy.”
His friends, on the other hand, were very supportive and accepting. He explains: “Well personally, it was way easier coming out to my friends and they are much more accepting. They support me so much that I was feeling extremely grateful and happy.”
THIS IS ME: Even though restrained by a conservative family, 19-year-old Zephy Tan (second from left) remains true to his identity and is supported by his group of friends. The photo was taken during the interview held over a video call. Photo: Tiffany Thong
Constrained in a conservative family
“The thought that I could like girls was something that never occurred to me initially because well, in Asian societies, especially when you grow up as a girl in a Christian household, a lot of your thoughts on relationships circle around having children and serving your husband because it's what you’ve been taught,” said Zephyr Tan, 19.
Going by he/they pronouns, the 19-year-old only discovered his sexual preferences and identity in secondary school - non-binary. Similar to Izwan, he is still not able to come out to his family and was often told to ‘change his behaviour’.
We had spoken to multiple individuals regarding this issue and almost all of the younger individuals had mentioned that it is necessary to create a society that accepts everyone. These people include those who may not have friends in the community and are not part of the community.
“I feel like with the increasing need for acceptance in the society, I think there will be more discussion about the community and perhaps in between the younger generation, there may be more people able to come out and be supported and I think that it is time to talk about this topic,” said one of the interviewees, Vivian Pang, 20.
Ms Pang emphasised the importance of creating an equal community for everyone as she shared that some of her friends feared being exposed and identified as part of the community, especially when it’s outside their social circle, for that they may face discrimination and criticism. “And this shouldn’t happen, because we are all equal.”
One of Ms Pang’s friends, who wished to stay anonymous, had mentioned that Ms Pang had shown her support in various ways. Some ways involve having deep conversations late at night for hours, fixing a meal when he’s down.
“She cared and supported me, like how she would towards her other friends. She went beyond moral support or words of encouragement. Instead, she even sent me notes and food during CB (Circuit Breaker) which kind of emptied her wallet - but she still did that just to ensure that I am coping well at home. She was and is still one of the main reasons that stopped me from ending my life.”
SUPPORT BEYOND RESTRICTIONS: One of Vivian Pang’s friends shared the notes they received from her during the lockdown. Photo: Tiffany Thong
Local support
The LGBTQ+ community is growing around the globe and are pretty vocal about their choices, with the various types of events held all around the world.
According to the law here in Singapore, Section 377A of the Penal Code criminalises sex between two male men. This sparked many conversations in the LGBTQ+ community. A non-government organisation representing the community, Pink Dot, came on board, releasing a statement, addressing the situation.
A survey titled, ‘Impact of Homophobia and Transphobia on LGBTQ individuals in Singapore’ was done by Oogachaga, Singapore’s most established LGBTQ+ community organisation back in 2021. Based on the response they have collected, about 60.2% have had experiences with sexual orientation and/or gender-identity-based abuse and discrimination. The most common types of abuse or discrimination include homophobic jokes and being called derogatory names.
Despite all of that, people are still standing tall and speaking out for their rights. Others may view them as different, but they are still staying true to who they are. Several events are still being held to celebrate the community. These events include Pink Fest by Pink Dot and IndigNation.
A SEA OF 'READINESS' PINK: Pink Dot SG commemorated its 10th year with thousands of Singaporeans and Permanent Residents. A sea of pink lights is a way to express and call for inclusion, diversity and equality for the community. Photo: Pink Dot
Authorities’ say to the controversies
Conversations regarding section 377A of the penal code are consistently ongoing and authorities have addressed this controversy multiple times over the years.
There is no evidence that shows the connection between discrimination and section 377A. It is hard to determine if the society still remains conservative due to the law or if it is the law that makes the society remain conservative.
The table above is based on the IPS survey that shares the differences in opinions on gay sex and gay marriage between different age groups. Graphic: Amanda Eber, TODAY
A survey titled “Religion, Morality and Conservatism in Singapore” by the Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) back in May 2019 had shown evidence of younger people in Singapore being more liberal and accepting of homosexual rights as compared to the older generation. This survey was reported and analysed by Mothership and TODAY previously. This survey suggested how our morals and attitudes were shaped by religion and education which would provide a better understanding of why some families are still unsupportive and not accepting of having an LGBTQ+ individual in the household.
Although section 377A still remain in force, the authorities had emphasised repeatedly that there is no discrimination intended towards the LGBTQ+ community. The authorities had clarified that the extant law would not be enforced proactively and the preservation of the law was mainly because Singapore society is still largely conservative.
The authorities had noticed the incident that happened in Lau Pa Sat earlier this year where an agitated 47-year-old threw the Pride flag whilst making derogatory remarks towards the workers at the health food outlet.
In that particular business’s Facebook post, the owner Charmaine Low mentioned that her intention of uploading the video of “homophobic abuse” was “not to dox or to track down the perpetrator, but to highlight the everyday reality that the LGBTQ community experience when most incidents are not even caught on camera”.
And in response to the incident and controversy regarding the law, Minister for Home Affairs and Minister for Law K Shanmugam said that: “Regardless of which community, what your social, religious or sexual beliefs are, everyone will be protected here and I have said so categorically.”
“LGBTQ persons, non-LGBTQ persons, we are all equal. We are not any lesser by reason of our sexual preferences,” said Mr Shanmugam, in the Committee of Supply debate held on Mar 1 this year.
Conclusion
Despite these challenges, the LGBTQ+ community “have to speak louder, fight harder, and stand firmer just to be treated the same as everyone else,”.as described by Pink Dot spokesperson, Clement Tan. These challenges are what make them who they are today.
“We live our lives every day just how we want it and just know that we are not living to prove anything but just to satisfy what we want in life, seeking happiness.”
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